


welcum to mcdawnalds

by orphan_account



Category: Avengers, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crackhead energy, High School, Multi, Mutual Pining, They're all fucking dumb, chat fic, no really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 03:24:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18651904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The whole gang is here and (mostly) queer.





	1. borger king

monday, september 16th. 7:29am

 

falconsrcool - sam wilson

cantnatashathis - natasha romanoff

starspangledyeet - steve rogers

bluckyblarnesblease - bucky barnes

clintcanthearyou - clint barton

 

clintcanthearyou made a new chat

 

clintcanthearyou added cantnatashathis, bluckyblarnesblease, falconsrcool and starspangledyeet to the chat.

 

clintcanthearyou: hi guys quick question

 

falconsrcool: shoot

 

cantnatashathis: ^^

 

clintcanthearyou: which one of you THOTS fed my dog BURGER KING

 

starspangledyeet: i-

 

clintcanthearyou: lucky is a MCDAWNALDS DOG

 

clintcanthearyou: HE CAN’T TAKE BURGER KING,,,HES THROWING U P

 

clintcanthearyou: WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID IT-

 

bluckyblarnesblease: (gtgchicken.jpg)

 

bluckyblarnesblease has left the chat

 

falconsrcool: so should i buy the casket now or-

 

starspangledyeet: now seems like a good time

 

cantnatashathis: rip james buchanan barnes. time of death 7:32, AP Physics room C319 ://

 

\------------------------------

 

monday, september 16th. 7:34am

 

name a more iconic trio i’ll wait

 

imathore - thor odinson

starspangledyeet - steve rogers

tonystarktiktokstar - tony stark

 

imathore: Why the fuck did Clint just interrupt my physics class?

 

imathore: Bucky’s screeching and crying.

 

imathore: Bucky just slipped past Clint and is now making a run for it.

 

tonystarktiktokstar: WHAT THE F CKI IM CRUING

 

tonystarktiktokstar: ACTUALLY?

 

tonystarktiktokstar: THATS THE FUMMNOEST THIMG IVE EVER HEARD

 

imathore: I’m confused. Someone please explain

 

starspangledyeet: bucky fed lucky burger king

 

imathore: Ah

 

tonystarktiktokstar: hA bucky fed lucky rhymes hee hee

 

starspangledyeet: y’ALL IT’S MICHAEL JACKSOOOOON

 

tonystarktiktokstar: hEE HEE

 

starspangledyeet: holy shit bucky is deadass naruto running down the hall

 

tonystarktiktokstar: anime be like

 

imathore: Pray for Bucky

 

tonystarktiktokstar: f

 

\-----------------------------------

 

monday, september 16th. 7:36am

 

u make me un poco loco

 

shtupidshmartshuri - shuri udaku

pweterpawker - peter parker

 

shtupidshmartshuri: hey ur friends with seniors right?

 

pweterpawker: uh i guess idk

 

shtupidshmartshuri: do u kno if they do crack

 

pweterpawker: w h a t

 

pweterpawker: WHY would you ask that

 

shtupidshmartshuri: because two of them just ran naruto style down the hallway

 

pweterpawker: who

 

shtupidshmartshuri: i think it was bucky barnes and clint barton

 

shtupidshmartshuri: hello? peter :3 pls respond :(

 

pweterpawker: bucky fed lucky something other than mcdonalds again.

 

shtupidshmartshuri: and i oo-

monday, september 16th. 11:54am

 

\-----------------------------

 

avengers assemble (pwease)

 

cantnatashathis - natasha romanoff

starspangledyeet - steve rogers

tonystarktiktokstar - tony stark

notadoctorshh - bruce banner

imathore - thor odinson

clintcanthearyou - clint barton

pweterpawker - peter parker

bluckyblarnesblease - bucky barnes

falconsrcool - sam wilson

 

cantnatashathis: bucky shld be fine

 

cantnatashathis: no thanks to u clint >:(

 

clintcanthearyou: i said i was sowwy

 

falconsrcool: it’s only the second week of school why is this happeninh

 

pweterpawker: because y’all are a bunch of fucking crackheads who attend an american public high school

 

imathore: :o

 

notadoctorshh: oh wow

 

starspangledyeet: we-

 

cantnatashathis: the tea is SCORCHING :/

 

falconsrcool: shut yo bubble gum dum dum soggy ass sophomore lookin ass tf up

 

falconsrcool: we brought u into this world and we cant take you out of it too

 

tonystarktiktokstar: disrespect peter one more time samuel the slut. 

 

tonystarktiktokstar: i dare u

 

pweterpawker: i love my dad

 

bluckyblarnesblease: SAMUEL THE SLUT IM CRYINH

 

bluckyblarnesblease has the changed the group name to ‘samuel the slut’.

 

falconsrcool: i hate this fucking family


	2. blackbird

 

thursday, september 19th, 11:42 am

 

we irritating xD

 

falconsrcool - sam wilson

starspangledyeet - steve rogers

bluckyblarnesblease - bucky barnes

lottscang - scott lang

 

falconsrcool: so are we all gonna ignore the elephant in the room or-

lottscang: depends on what the elephant is

falconsrcool: scott u dumb fuck we were talking about it yesterday

bluckyblarnesblease: i think we ALL know what the elephant in the room is

starspangledyeet: how about we stop quoting victoria and get to work on making clintasaha a thing

lottscang: CLINTASHA

lottscang: IM HERE FOR IT

falconsrcool: sbeve do you really think just the four of us are gonna make it happen?

bluckyblarnesblease: he has a lot of ambition in his soul ,,, let him be

starspangledyeet: ^^

falconsrcool: we have to think logically tho

falconsrcool: this is clint and natasha we’re talking about

falconsrcool: they’re not exactly the normal pair of star-crossed lovers

lottscang: im literally poopooing myself im so excited

bluckyblarnesblease: one more fucking phrase like that out of ur and ur gone piss ant

starspangledyeet: samuel the slut is right

falconsrcool: this is slander but go off

starspangledyeet: i think,,,i think it might be time to go global boys

lottscang: what

bluckyblarnesblease: oh you mean…?

starspangledyeet: oh,,,i mean

lottscang: im uncomfortable

falconsrcool: WE GOIN GLOBAL BITCH

lottscang: what,,,and i cannot stress this enough,,,the fuck is going on

 

——————————————————————————————————————

 

thursday, september 19th, 11:46am

 

avengers assemble (pwease)

 

cantnatashathis - natasha romanoff

starspangledyeet - steve rogers

tonystarktiktokstar - tony stark

notadoctorshh - bruce banner

imathore - thor odinson

clintcanthearyou - clint barton

pweterpawker - peter parker

bluckyblarnesblease - bucky barnes

falconsrcool - sam wilson

 

starspangledyeet muted chat notifications from clintcanthearyou and cantnatashathis

 

tonystarktiktokstar: what

 

starspangledyeet added lottscang to the conversation

 

tonystarktiktokstar: WHAT

lottscang: wtf is this

lottscang: is this,,,a gc,,,

lottscang: without me???????

tonystarktiktokstar: wtf is going on steeb

tonystarktiktokstar: this violates every rule of our constitution

notadoctorshh: yeah…i am a little confusion

starspangledyeet: fuck the constitution

imathore: Did Steve just…turn his back on the government??

lottscang: im so lost rn

starspangledyeet: this is an emergency

pweterpawker: how so???

starspangledyeet: when this group chat was first created youngling, we, being just tony, thor, and i, were each assigned duties that we needed to carry out, so long as this chat was thriving. my assignment was one i was very eager to receive and to watch over.

starspangledyeet: however,,,i’m afraid our window of opportunity on my operation is closing faster than we thought

falconsrcool: which is why we decided to GO GLOBAL BABY !!!

tonystarktiktokstar: YOU MEAN

imathore: IS OPERATION BLACKBIRD A GO? 

starspangledyeet: it is, my good man, it is.

 

imathore added hoekiodinson to the chat

 

starspangledyeet: thor-

imathore: If you can add Scott, I can add my diva of a brother. He lives for this type of stuff. I also need to give him something to do, or else he’ll strangle me with snakes again.

pweterpawker: holy shit, ur brother is a real person????

notadoctorshh: ^^^i thought he was just a myth

imathore: oh he is very much real

hoekiodinson: thor u dumbfuck

hoekiodinson: stop talking about me like im not here

imathore: Sowwy.

bluckyblarnesblease: we got the mysterious brother???

bluckyblarnesblease: this chat just got so much more interesting

lottscang: am i not enough, hoe?

bluckyblarnesblease: hey,,,whos the newbie here??

tonystarktiktokstar: piss ant is.

pweterpawker: damn right

lottscang: youre like 2???

tonystarktiktokstar: you’re on thin fucking ice

notadoctorshh: so what’s the plan?

starspangledyeet: we ride on saturday at dawn

hoekiodinson: are you fucking kidding me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we goin full sicko mode boys...


End file.
